Upstate Coyote

Hudson Falls follies

2005-12-13T09:08:00.000-05:00

What's with the Hudson Falls Village Board? Maybe the trash plant exhaust is starting to get to them.
They can't figure out how to shut up one of their trustees, who keeps bugging the police chief for information about his budget. So they come up with a policy to have her clear her requests through the entire village board first. Members of the majority think it's a great idea -- limiting trustees' power to get information. That's fine when it's not them seeking the information. But we wonder how they'd feel about the rule if THEY were in the minority.
C'mon kids. Play nice. The village has a lot of problems, and none of this bickering does anything to solve them. How about forgetting the petty politics and getting back to business.
Speaking of which, the mayor says he needs to cut back his hours in order to keep his unemployment benefits. What kind of stupid state law forces a public official to cut back his hours in order to live? It's difficult enough getting people to run for office without forcing them to choose between serving the public and feeding their families. The income from most public officials' salaries (we're not talking the Legislature) is barely enough to cover their expenses. There should be an exemption.

A joke ripe for the pickin'

2005-12-13T08:55:00.000-05:00

You have to admit, that Banana Boy story was probably the most hilarious thing you've read in a long time.
How about that sheriff's deputy? Imagine the conversation when he got home.
"Hi Honey, how was your day?"
"Oh, the usual. Loud noise complaint. Couple of speeders. Oh, and I held a giant banana at gunpoint."
"That's nice, dear."
Imagine if he'd actually shot the guy. Then during the internal affairs investigation, they went into the deputy's arrest history and found out he once shot a potato -- right between the eyes! (couldn't resist.)
Enough. The big question now is whether Banana Boy is planning to wear his costume to his court appearance on Thursday. If you're the judge, you throw him in jail just for pushing a joke too far. Speaking of which, I'm done with the banana topic. Thanks a bunch.

The sky is falling in Hartford

2005-12-07T12:46:00.000-05:00

When your residents are taking chunks of rock to the IGA to weigh them on the produce scale, you have to wonder why local and state government officials aren't doing more about it.
"Ooops. Sorry. Won't happen again," won't wash if one of those flying missiles ever hits a house - or a person.
A lot of people in power should be a lot madder about this, don't ya think?

Wheeeerrrrre's Johnny?

2005-12-07T12:13:00.000-05:00

Maybe our congressman can take a lesson in constituent-building from our two U.S. senators.
Chuck Schumer visits here so often, he's earned his own parking spot. And Hillary Clinton has been up here twice this year, and it wasn't even Women's Only Weekend.
The only federal representative we haven't seen around these parts is Congressman Sweeney. Maybe he's resting on those 65-35 percent Election Day victories.
But Sweeney's certainly no Gerry Solomon, who could often be spotted holding court in a local supermarket or at a hockey game.
Voters in this area have shown no hesitancy about throwing indifferent Republicans out of office -- as evidenced by the outcome of last month's general election. Mr. Sweeney owes it to consitutents to regularly stop by, meet with them and answer their questions. Otherwise, he may find himself on the short end of the next 65-35 election result. To paraphrase Bill Cosby: We put you into this office. We can take you out.

Rethinking the war?

2005-12-05T14:04:00.000-05:00

Even if you support the war in Iraq, how can you not help feeling a little negative about all the casualties? Is it supporting the troops by continuing to support the war, or is it supporting them by trying to get them the hell out of there as soon as possible? If your views have changed or wavered on the war since it started, or if they've been solidified in favor of it by the need to finish what we started and back our troops, voice your opinion in the newspaper's "It's Debatable" feature. You don't have to sign your name, and you have to keep your comments to exactly 100 words or less (They count them). E-mail your responses to mahoney@poststar.com.

Going round and round

2005-12-05T13:54:00.000-05:00

So Glens Falls Mayor-elect Akins is reconsidering the roundabout at the five-way intersection. He's probably one of those people who avoids the intersection by taking side streets. That might get you around faster, but it's not exactly the way to promote new businesses downtown. Before Mr. Akins makes up his mind, he should try to drive through the five-way at 4:30 p.m. on any weekday, or sit there at 3 a.m. on any night waiting for the light to turn.
For a video editorial report on the subject that my friends at The Post-Star did, click here.
Have thoughts about the city revisiting the roundabout? Respond to the "It's Debatable" question in the paper. E-mail your 100-word comments to mahoney@poststar.com. (Best of all, you don't have to sign your name.)

PCB

2005-12-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

So they're digging through the PCBs in Fort Edward to get to historical items from a smallpox hospital. Maybe it's safer to just leave everything on the river bottom and go swimming someplace else.

Top 11 ways for the Civic Center to recoup the $225,000

2005-11-30T14:24:00.000-05:00

The outgoing Glens Falls Common Council has decided to cut $225,000 from the city's subsidy of the Glens Falls Civic Center. The Civic Center will either have to cut expenses or generate more revenues to make up the difference. Here are a few ideas.

11 -- Have Civic Center walkers run on treadmills to generate electricity.
10 -- Collect portion of profits from sale of Barry Melrose Hair Gel.
9 -- Create indoor waterslide park.
8 -- Auction off Kay Saunders' seat from Heritage Hall.
7 -- "Chuck a Puck at Bob Regan" nights during January Frostbite games.
6 -- Get Irish tenor Danny O'Donnell to perform nightly.
5 -- Fire the entire Civic Center staff and have work done by city police dispatchers.
4 -- Convince New York Mets management that spending $10 million at the Civic Center will turn them into a contender.
3 -- Give Burger King the food franchise and get it off the five-way corner.
2 -- Pay Lee Ann Womack not to perform.
1 -- Zamboni rides

Danny, Dan and Depends

2005-11-30T14:15:00.000-05:00

• Daniel O'Donnell is coming back to the Civic Center in May. Does anyone under 60 years old even know who the heck he is? I saw where the top-priced ticket is $91. Ninety-one bucks! But I hear that during the concert, O'Donnell will wander into those seats and greet the people. For $91, I'd expect him to wander over to my house and greet my sinkful of dishes.

• I hope Dan Stec's house is made of asbestos, or at least has a lot of sprinkers.

• So the Rolling Stones are playing halftime at the Super Bowl. No threat of a wardrobe malfunction there -- unless Keith Richards' Depends come untaped during the guitar solo in Jumpin' Jack Flash.

With Republicans like these, who needs Democrats?

2005-11-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

The Republican Party can't seem to get out of its own way these days.

They've got the top Pataki basher, Tom Golisano, as one of their favorites for the governor's race next year. The other favorite is a guy who was the governor of another state.

Even John Sweeney is emboldened enough to take shots at the leadership over its nomination process. I don't know why. If he doesn't like who they endorse, he'll just shut down the counting of the ballots when his candidate gets ahead.

And poor Jeanine Pirro. A competent, home-grown New York Republican aspires to run for U.S. Senate, and the GOP is mad at her. Then again, if I was about to be led into slaughter against Hillary Clinton, I think I'd take Joe Bruno's advice and run for state attorney general. But given the current state of affairs in the party, they may not be able to get her elected dog catcher.

Let's hope Redskins luck doesn't rub off on Great Escape

2005-11-30T14:10:00.001-05:00

So it looks like Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has successfully injected himself into Six Flags. Let's hope he makes a better go of the amusement parks than he's made of his football team, which at last count was winning less than half its games.

Snyder says he wants to create a more family-type atmosphere in the company's parks. And I hear he's already got a unique idea for Six Flags Great Escape -- He's going to transform it into a family park based on storybook characters. What do you think?

Where is the Center going to get a quarter-million dollars?

2005-11-30T14:10:00.000-05:00

The outgoing Glens Falls Common Council is expecting the Civic Center to make up $225,000 by cutting expenses and bringing in new acts. Where were these guys for the past four years?
If the Civic Center had the ability to bring in a quarter of million bucks extra per year, it wouldn't be in this mess. Seems like Bud is exacting a little post-election revenge against Mayor-elect Roy for boasting about his ability to turn the place around.
It's easy for an outgoing government board to make cuts when they're not going to be responsible for paying for them. Don't be surprised if the next council is scrambling to find $225,000 when they start settling the books next year.

Wrong time for Fort Ann to be withholding information

2005-11-30T14:07:00.000-05:00

I wish the town of Fort Ann would have put as much effort into preparing the construction documents for the Hadlock Pond dam as they're putting into keeping them away from the public. When is this board going to start getting it?

Where the wild things are

2005-11-13T14:35:00.000-05:00

Hey Folks. It's been a while. Any tigers get loose while I was gone?

* I like the new Frostbite mascot. It's a vast improvement over "Knuckles the Big Bad Wolf." Way cuddlier, too. But it still doesn't look anything like a polar bear.

* Thank goodness the election's finally over. I was beginning to think they were going to take this thing all the way to the Supreme Court. One sham election is enough for one lifetime.

* The guy who does my taxes is an election inspector in Moreau. Should I be worried?

* Hey, how many times in your memory have you heard the phrase "Democratic Sweep" used for anything around these parts other than describing who has to clean up after board meetings? If Jerry Solomon were still alive, someone in the party leadership would be getting a good horse-whippin' about now.

* Bet Bud Taylor wants to ring Peter McDevitt's neck right about now. I understand he's taken the matter under advisement (couldn't resist one more). Those 880 Conservative votes that McDevitt got certainly would have been helpful to a Republican candidate in a tight race. But hey, that's democracy.

* Glens Falls mayor-elect Roy Akins says he plans to release his plans for revitalizing the city any day now. Kind of a mid-November surprise. Would have been nice if the voters got a chance to see it BEFORE the election.

* Crandall library Director Christine McDonald was so excited by the reversal of the vote on the library expansion that she almost broke into a smile.

* Looks like Saratoga Springs' Democratic mayor-elect Valerie Keehn was smart not to debate Mike Lenz after all. But she won't be able to hide from the public when she's sitting in his chair in six weeks. Let's hope she's prepared with some actual answers.

* Speaking of the Democratic sweep, the people trying to keep Saratoga Springs from using Saratoga Lake as a water source are getting worried. I saw a bunch of them out there the other day dumping PCBs in the lake.

* I hear in Dresden, they're eliminating voting booths all together and just going to absentees. No one apparently lives in that town full-time anyway. They're also changing the town's ZIP code to 11551 -- Hempstead, Long Island.

* Turns out the Greenwich bank robbers weren't part of some elite European paramilitary group after all -- just three local mutts with spare time on their hands. Here's some advice for you bank robber wannabes: If you want people to think you're just some regular-Joe handyman, don't park the BMW and the Mercedes in the driveway.

* I've got some swampland to sell you in Queensbury. Actually, it might be worth something.

* So how 'bout them Jets? I hear they sent a scout to a Greenjackets game looking for a quarterback.

The two faces of Gov. Pataki

2005-11-03T13:31:00.000-05:00

What a coincidence. Iowa must have a governor named George Pataki, too. How else could you explain this daily schedule from last week released by Gov. George Pataki's office?

* 3:45 p.m. -- Attends American Red Cross of the Quad Cities
meeting to thank chapter for their efforts after 9/11;
1100 River Drive, Moline, Iowa.

* 5:15 p.m. -- Attends fundraiser for Brian Dumas, candidate for
Davenport Alderman; Thunder Bay Grille, 6511 North Brady
Street, Davenport, Iowa.

* 8:15 p.m. -- Presents the Keynote Address at the Clinton County
GOP Steak Dinner; The Vista Grande, 2141 16th Street, NW,
Clinton, Iowa.

Aren't there a lot of Red Cross chapters closer to New York City that should be recognized for helping out with 9/11? Think there are any struggling Republican candidates around here who could use a boost from the state's governor 10 days before Election Day? Don't we have a Clinton County in New York?
The governor may have announced he won't seek re-election, but he's still NEW YORK's governor for another year, right? You wouldn't know it from his daily schedule, though. He must be up to something else. What could it be?? Hmmm.
Hint: On Tuesday, he was in California.

Mothers of inventions -- coincidence?

2005-11-03T13:29:00.000-05:00

Roy Akins invented the Million Dollar Half Mile about the same time Al Gore invented the Internet. And they're both Democrats. Coincidence?

Lukewarm love fest

2005-10-31T09:22:00.000-05:00

Outgoing Glens Falls Mayor Robert Regan couldn't have made it any clearer how unenthusiastic he is about Bud Taylor becoming his replacement. He waits six weeks before making an endorsement, then only at the prompting of a reporter. Then he takes all day to get the wording just right, and then issues a statement instead of holding a joint press conference. The mayor's not exactly trying to win the MVP on Team Bud, is he? But in the end, all good Republicans stick together -- even if they have to be dragged kicking and screaming.

Try a little harder next time
Speaking of the election, if Esmond Lyons and Bill Berg were trying to kiss up to the paper during last week's Post-Star mayoral debate in order to get our endorsement, they need to work a little harder on their puckering. Mr. Lyons referred to the debate as the paper's attempt to put on a "pretense of fair and accurate coverage" hoping to "cover their bloody tracks." Mr. Berg accused the paper of knowingly printing "lies" about him. We're just glad they didn't send their candidate essays via flaming arrow.

Pickled prisoner

2005-10-31T09:21:00.000-05:00

Saw a woman was arrested with a blood alcohol of 0.52 percent -- meaning half a percent of the fluid running through her bloodstream is alcohol. It's amazing she was still breathing, much less committing a crime.

America's Past (bed) Time

2005-10-31T09:20:00.000-05:00

Sorry it took so long to add more comments. I've been up late watching World Series games. Seriously, what were the baseball people thinking starting games at 8:30 at night? Who but a few die-hard baseball fans and people in the competing cities are up watching that late. Game 3, which went 12 innings, didn't get over until 1:30 a.m. Deciding Game 4 didn't end until 12:30 a.m., and that was for a game where both teams scored a total of one run. We understand they want to get the most prime-time advertising revenue. But they'll make more money in the long run by building their fan base. And the best way to do that is to show the championship games when kids -- or for that matter, adults -- can actually stay awake to watch them.

Three more random thoughts

2005-10-14T15:40:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to Glens Falls Hospital on its grand opening for the new expansion. It's so nice, it almost makes me want to be sick. (That didn't come out right, did it?)

During the candidate forum at TV8 the other night, Democratic candidate Roy Akins wore a red rose on his lapel to celebrate the state flower -- the rose. Not to be outdone, Peter McDevitt celebrated the state mammal by coming in wearing a beaver pelt. Bud Taylor responded by forming a task force to study the matter.

This week, our boss flew to Seattle just to enjoy some drier weather.

Top 11 ways to save on fuel costs

2005-10-14T15:20:00.000-04:00

People are often resistent to consider alternative transportation as a way to save gasoline. That's because there simply are few viable options for them. Well, Don Coyote has compiled a list of 11 top ideas for what could be done locally to save commuters money and fuel, while screwing the big oil companies.

11 -- Take imported Mexican dogs from Adirondack Save-a-Stray and have them pull sleds.
10 -- Develop cars powered by acid rain.
9 -- Equip bicycles with snow tires and studs.
8 -- Car-battery recharging station in Fort Ann at new Hadlock Pond Hydro Dam.
7 -- Harness anger from Hartford veterans monument controversy.
6 -- Give everyone a soap box derby car.
5 -- Expand canal system to city streets, allowing people to row to work. Check with Finch-Pruyn first about using their river water.
4 -- Personalized balloons propelled by hot air from politicians.
3 -- Shuttle service using buses from cancelled Canadian fall foliage tours.
2 -- Build windmill-propelled vehicles, as long as they couldn't be seen from the High Peaks.
1 -- Create fuel from alcohol breath at Hebron Town Board meetings.

Confusing election signs

2005-10-14T15:00:00.000-04:00

There are so many campaign signs alongside the road these days, I'm afraid that on Election Day, I'm going to vote for "Yield."

Top 11 justifications for denying access to Hadlock Dam documents

2005-10-13T09:25:00.000-04:00

The Fort Ann Town Board has denied a Post-Star request for information that led to the collapse of the Hadlock Pond Dam in July. The Freedom of Information Law requires that governments provide a reason for denying such a request. Here are the Town Board's Top 11 justifications for withholding the information, based on what Don Coyote has learned.

11 -- Now that the dam and all the water are gone, what's the big deal?
10 -- The newspaper might sue us? Get in line.
9 -- Thought a "FOIL" request had something to do with wrapping leftovers.
8 -- Afraid of negative reaction from Washington County al-Qaida cell.
7 -- Supervisor Gayle Hall might have to say something other than "No Comment" at town board meetings.
6 -- The state doesn't respond to FOILs. Why should we?
5 -- Fear release of information will prompt large group of residents to secede from town and form the Village of Mudslide.
4 -- If town is responsible, it will quash board's plans to assess all homes in town as "lakeside property."
3 -- Fear that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals will try to make a legal claim on behalf of all the fish that got killed.
2 -- Agreeing positively to a FOIL request will set bad precedent for other screw-ups the town wants to keep secret.
1 -- All the documents were destroyed in the flood.

And another thing ...

2005-10-11T14:12:00.000-04:00

* In response to my comment in Monday's paper, a few people asked me why we should now be embarrassed about celebrating the accomplishments of Christopher Columbus. Don't ask me. Ask the Indians.

Wake me for the spring season

2005-10-11T14:07:00.000-04:00

* So major league baseball has come down to teams from St. Louis, Anaheim, Chicago and Houston. Wake me when spring training starts.
Since they're out of the playoffs anyway, and since they had the same record at the end of the season, how about the Yankees and Red Sox getting together for one last series -- winner take all. But that's not going to happen. So it looks like I'll have to start figuring out who's on my NHL team.
Speaking of the Yankees and Red Sox, their owners combined to spend $327 million in salaries -- for two teams that won a grand total of two playoff games. To be able to afford throwing that kind of money away, they must own a lot of oil company stock.

Other places to look for marijuana

2005-09-30T12:42:00.000-04:00

Washington County sheriff's officers have seen a significant drop in the amount of marijuana plants they seize each year. Part of the problem is that police don't have the staff and equipment to make significant raids. The other part is that pot growers over the years have wised up and come up with creative new places to grow their weed without getting caught. Don Coyote knows of a few of the more discreet, infrequently visited places where cops might find some MJ.

12 — New York Jets quarterback meetings
11 — Voting booths at Skidmore College
10 — Downtown Wilton
9 — The keep-lock cells at Great Meadow prison
8 — The Kingsbury soccer park
7 — The Hadlock Pond shoreline
6 — The Glens Falls police station after the dispatchers are gone
5 — Gas stations just on the New York side of the New York-Vermont border
4 — Glens Falls Civic Center during Black Crowes and Lee Ann Womack concerts
3 — Washington County Board of Supervisors night meetings
2 — Inside downtown Fort Edward businesses after the dredging starts
1 — Warrensburg school board meetings where they're discussing the teachers' contract

The Top 11 rejected balloon shapes

2005-09-19T14:20:00.000-04:00

Over the years, the Adirondack Balloon Festival has been host to many "specialty" balloons that come in unusual shapes. In the past, we've seen kissing bumble bees, the Energizer bunny, a farmhouse, an octopus, a rolled-up newspaper and a dragon.
But while the specialty balloons provide a unique complement to the traditional-shaped balloons, not all the proposed balloons arrive. Here is my list of the Top 11 Adirondack Balloon Festival rejected specialty balloons along with the reasons, in parenthesis, why they were rejected.

11 -- General Electric PCB Dredging Balloon (Everyone in region would benefit except Fort Edward, which would be totally screwed.)
10 -- International Paper "Tires on Fire" balloon (Vermont residents likely to file lawsuit.)
9 -- Saratoga Springs Right to Life balloon (Children might see it.)
8 -- Molly McMaster "Colossal Colon" balloon (Could encourage entry of other body-part balloons, such as "Colossal Hemorrhoid" balloon.)
7 -- "Bud Taylor-Peter McDevitt Friendship" balloon (Might trigger spontaneous joint debate over dispatch consolidation.)
6 -- Boston Scientific "Yankees Suck" balloon (Would encourage Dave "Dango" Johnson to open chain of local Red Sox bars.)
5 -- Village of Lake George "Canada Street" balloon (Too bright, loud and tacky.)
4 -- "Great Escape John Collins" balloon (Balloon dismissed for no apparent reason.)
3 -- "Hillary Clinton Women's Only Weekend" balloon (It would never get off the ground.)
2 -- FEMA balloon (It wouldn't arrive at the festival until two days after it was needed.)
1 -- Walt Grishkot balloon (It would never land.)

Voting irregularities and elephant poop

2005-09-15T14:19:00.000-04:00

So they recorded 10 votes in a Conservative Primary polling location in Glens Falls where only four people were registered. Upon hearing the news, Congressman John Sweeney immediately broke off a live interview with CNN, swooped into Warren County Airport on Air Force 1, and demanded the Board of Elections stop the counting.

See the story about that guy who makes sculptures out of elephant dung? It was in Thursday's Post-Star. O-Kaaaaay. Whyyyyyyy???

Bud Taylor won the Republican nomination for mayor and immediately called for the creation of a task force to determine his next move.

I read where the Westchester County executive issued subpoenas to 14 gas stations in his county that raised their prices more than $1 overnight right right after Hurricane Katrina hit. He wants to know their justification for bumping them up so fast and so high. Come to think of it, we'd like to know the same thing about our local gas stations. How 'bout it supervisors?

Backing the wrong teams

2005-09-15T10:15:00.000-04:00

After the first week of the NFL season, the Bills, Dolphins, Saints, 49ers and Bengals are all undefeated. Looks like a good time to buy a lottery ticket. Especially since the Mega Millions jackpot for Friday is $250 million!

Is there anything more annoying than people who defend convicted sex offenders? In Fort Edward last year, church folks held a home party and a golf tournament for a beloved priest who was removed the ministry because of a sexual relationship he had with a teenage boy. The bishop himself confirmed the story. The priest, of course, told people another story and they believed him. How gullible can people be?
And now, apparently starved for quality musical entertainment, the good people of southern Washington County have opened their arms to a guy whose teaching license was just removed by the state because he had long sexual relationships with a couple of area high school juniors. Sure, these people are very charming and disarming. How exactly do you think they dupe their victims in the first place? Just because someone is a nice guy and has a particular talent doesn't mean you turn your back on the facts and let your guard down. Being a forgiving, loving Christian doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your brains and common sense. C'mon people!

Top 12 campaign slogans in the Glens Falls mayor's race.

2005-09-13T15:52:00.000-04:00

12) Vote for me. I filed my financial disclosure forms on time.

11) Vote for me. I'll lower taxes, although I won't tell you how.

10) Vote for me. I'm insane, but I'll wear a suit.

9) Vote for me. Urban renewal got a bad rap.

8) Vote for me. Get a free Whopper and fries.

7) Vote for me. My Web site doesn't suck.

6) Vote for me. I know Barry Melrose.

5) Vote for me or the Frostbite mascot gets it.

4) Vote for me. I showed up for all the debates (whether I was invited or not).

3) Vote for me. I'll shrink government by making every city worker a police dispatcher.

2) Vote for me. I can't screw it up any more than these guys have.

1) Vote for me. My name is Frank O'Keefe.

Horses, buggies and other stupid ideas

2005-09-13T15:24:00.000-04:00

Looking at the price of gas, I have a feeling the horse and buggy is going to be making a comeback. It might even get me better reception on my satellite radio.

That wouldn't change the feeling of driving around Glens Falls, though ...

Speaking of horses, if the horse racing museum wants to make its new horse-racing simulator more than just a glorified department store ride, it should have it throw riders to the ground have have them get kicked in the head by another horse. Now THAT would be realistic.
And who came up with this stupid idea anyway? People enjoy horse racing because they can bet on the horses, not because they want to ride them.

On the Glens Falls GOP race, and FEMA

2005-09-12T16:26:00.000-04:00

If Bud Taylor and Peter McDevitt were any more nasty to each other, you'd think they were an old married couple. Our columnist, Will Doolittle, almost walked out of a debate between the two men the other night in disgust, and it wasn't because they were both Republicans. The nastiness we see in national and state campaigns is a campaign strategy for winning the election, not improving the community. Bloody the other guy so people will think he's a stinker and won't vote for him. But here at the local level, we're just looking for candidates who are going to make our community better. We don't need tricks and distractions.We just need a civilized election in which candidates win by presenting the best ideas for bettering the community, not the best insults.

I see Mike Brown has resigned as FEMA director. I think the people of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama would have been better off if he quit before the hurricane.

My suggestions for the Henry Hudson Town Houses

2005-09-07T16:06:00.000-04:00

The owners of the Henry Hudson Town Houses have offered to sell the low-income housing development to the city of Glens Falls. The city has balked at the offer, fearing the level of bureaucracy that would be involved in running the townhouses. Don Coyote, though, thinks the city could make a go of it if they think of more creative uses for the complex.

Top 11 city uses for the Henry Hudson Town Houses

11 -- Housing for "marginal human beings" looking for temporary work under the Peter McDevitt administration.

10 -- Flood in winter and use as city ice rink and warming huts under the Bud Taylor administration.

9 -- Fire training center under the Bill Berg administration.

8 -- Large, semi-fictional 3-D mural under the Esmond Lyons administration.

7 -- Promote as Glens Falls heritage tourism destination -- Miserably Failed Low-income Housing Solutions of the 1970s -- under the Roy Akins administration.

6 -- Move current residents to Madden Hotel and offer homes to displaced New Orleans residents.

5 -- New city dog walk park.

4 -- City police station annex under consolidated dispatch, since cops spend most of their time there anyway.

3 -- Parking area for Boscov's.

2 -- Tell people it's Cooper's Cave. The real one is too difficult to get to now, and no one reads "Last of the Mohicans" anymore anyway.

1 -- Turn it into the village of East Glens Falls and allow the residents to run it themselves.

Grumblings on a Monday

2005-08-29T13:42:00.000-04:00

Is it bad that I am looking forward to the rain from Hurricane Katrina?

My lawn is still so brown, you'd think it was the Gulf of Mexico around all the oil platforms that have been shut down.

I do feel for all the people in Louisiana, but building a city below sea level is just asking for trouble.

Kind of like running for mayor of Glens Falls or going up against the Fort Edward town supervisor.

Who are all these people on the lawn signs, and how come none of them have done anything for me except ask me to put their sign in my yard?

Though I am glad that my tax money isn't going toward fixing a Tiffany window in a casino. Maybe they can get a donation from NYRA and the racino for that.

A top 11 for Fort Edward

2005-08-26T16:42:00.000-04:00

The Environmental Protection Agency has issued plans for the first phase of dredging the Hudson, plans that Fort Edward officials fear will negatively affect their economic future. But Don Coyote thinks the EPA and Fort Edward politicians overlooked some obvious ways to make PCB removal help the economy.

11 -- Add lights and music to promote dredging barges as 24-hour-a-day party boats.

10 -- Invite cast of the New Gilligan's Island to film a segment on Rogers Island.

9 -- Recreate Battle of Saratoga on piles of sludge.

8 -- Market "Fort Edward PCB Clam Dredging Toy" in time for Christmas.

7 -- Invite people to de-water their own soil.

6 -- GE's new slogan: "We bring bad things to the surface."

5 -- Sell PCB-BLTs in local sandwich shops.

4 -- Say bones dredged from river belong to Jane McCrea.

3 -- Three-headed-cow petting zoo at Pulver Farm.

2 -- Change name on signs from "Fort Edward" to "Fort Not Polluted"

1 -- Holiday Sludge Train.

Get it out, knock it over, and give it up

2005-08-25T13:39:00.000-04:00

Does anyone truly believe Fort Edward -- and the entire region -- won't be better off after they remove PCBs from the Hudson River? Seriously, use your heads folks.
The PCBs in the river are what's preventing the area's economic rebirth -- not the prospect of cleaning them up.
This project is going to be great for the whole region in the long-run. Be patient. And in the short-term, just think of all the revenue Fort Edward's going to get from the jump in 7 a.m. beer sales when the dredging workers show up.

How long before a driver runs over one of the new signs in the crosswalk in Glens Falls? I give it until about 3 a.m. Saturday morning.

So the city of Saratoga Springs takes drastic action to get rid of Erin Dreyer and make the whole nasty situation go away. And what does the police chief do? He dredges (pardon the pun) the whole mess up again with a lawsuit. Dreyer's gone. After Election Day, Curley will be gone.
Let it go already!

Give the Warren and Washington county Republican committees credit for having the nerve to buck the state party bosses by supporting ex-Nixon son-in-law Ed Cox over CNN golden girl Jeanine Pirro. But I don't think our local guys are going to get punished for not falling into lockstep. That's because it doesn't really matter who the Republicans pick to run for Senate. Hillary's going to kill whoever they put up against her. And everyone -- including the party bosses -- know it.

Thank goodness for loud mufflers and broken tail lights. Imagine how many criminals would be out on the streets without them.

And finally, the New York Mets have scored 32 runs in their last two games. At the same time, Mars is quickly approaching Earth for its closest pass in decades. Coincidence?

And finally ... We'll miss Dave

2005-08-03T14:25:00.000-04:00

And finally, Assistant City Editor Dave Blow is leaving us this week to take a teaching job. We're gonna miss him. No one does a better Homer Simpson impression than Dave. DOH!!

But I have first dibs on his desk.

Some change is good, some isn't

2005-08-03T14:23:00.000-04:00

So they're trying to change my favorite place in the whole world to make it more "classy?" What's not classy about the village of Lake George now? I mean, where else can you play mini-golf at 10 o'clock at night, get drunk at a genuine imitation Hawaiian luau, shake hands with Frankenstein, buy five T-shirts for $10, get a tattoo, and ride a gawdy paddleboat on the same lake that they fought the French & Indian War? And they think they need to make Lake George more classy? C'mon. It's perfect.

Saw the New York Racing Association has a new detention facility at Saratoga where they put horses before races to make sure no one's giving them performance-enhancing drugs. Maybe they should have one of those detention facilities for major league baseball players.

I see that guy called off his challenge to Bud Taylor's petition. Score one for democracy.

Speaking of the election, I hear the local Green Party has its nose out of joint over the fact that we're hosting a debate for the Conservative and Republican primaries for Glens Falls mayor. Well, we'd host a debate for the Green Party primaries, except they can never get two people who want to run.

Here I am

2005-08-03T13:49:00.000-04:00

I just got my fur cleaned.

See what a handsome devil I am?

GE and EPA are still arguing over who will pay for it, unfortunately.

Top 11 job prospects for Governor Pataki

2005-08-01T13:18:00.000-04:00

Governor Pataki last week announced that he would leave office when his term expires at the end of next year. Among the potential job prospects is president of the United States. But if that doesn't pan out, he has several occupations to fall back on:

11 -- President Bush's new director of tax policy.
10 -- Joins former Lt. Gov. Betsy McCaughey Ross as substitute co-hosts of "Regis and Kelly."
9 -- Water tester at the Washington County Fair.
8 -- Abraham Lincoln at Disney World's "Hall of Presidents."
7 -- Official "I LOVE NY" T-shirt vendor at 2012 Summer Olympics in London.
6 -- Bus driver for Rudy Giuliani's "Mayor of America" presidential tour.
5 -- Guest instructor at Mario Cuomo's School of Effective Public Speaking.
4 -- John Sweeney's opponent in celebrity boxing tournament.
3 -- Sacrificial Republican candidate against Hillary Clinton, hoping to be rewarded with a state judgeship.
2 -- Host of new reality TV show, "Three Men in a Room."
1 -- Frankenpine.

I wonder if Lance would want to come race here ...

2005-07-25T13:12:00.000-04:00

Glens Falls wants to limit designs for new homes? Seems like they've got bigger problems with aesthetics -- like the Henry Hudson Town Houses and South Street.

I thought I'd be mad that the NHL took a year off over a stupid labor dispute. But now that hockey's really coming back, I'm getting excited about it. No red line, smaller goalie equipment, shootouts. Maybe it took a lockout to shock them into realizing the pro game's gotten really boring, and they had to do something about it.

After all that complaining we did about the constant rain, my lawn's sure getting brown all of a sudden.

Think after Lance Armstrong retires, we'll be able to get him to the Glens Falls bike race? Compared to the Tour de France, our race certainly would be something for a retiree.

More APA rules

2005-07-22T09:24:00.000-04:00

In light of the Adirondack Park Agency's proposed new regulations limiting campers from spending more than 90 days on one site, here is Don Coyote's Top 11 list of other proposed APA regulations.

11 -- Buildings constructed after 2007 may only be built of bark, twigs, rocks and discarded beer cans.

10 -- After 2005, phone service will be limited to tin cans tied together by a string.

9 -- Any structure above 50 feet tall must be made of glass so as not to obstruct views.

8 -- All public buildings must display photo of Eliot Spitzer smiling and holding an ax over a model of Midwest coal-burning factory.

7 -- Black bears may only be fed garbage, bars of Ivory soap and large containers of ice cream. No children.

6 -- Snowmobiles may operate in Forest Preserve areas only between months of April and September.

5 -- Handicapped fishermen may only access lakes and ponds on sleighs pulled by eight tiny reindeer.

4 -- Windmills and cell towers must be vaguely disguised as hideously out-of-place, disproportionately-sized natural Adirondack features such as pine trees and tall, skinny boulders.

3 -- Beards, orange knit caps and "snake sticks" required for men in all public areas. Same goes for women.

2 -- New hunting season for environmentalists who regularly use the word, "Frankenpine."

1 -- Starting in 2006, NO PEOPLE.

Dam break to landslide -- there's a lot to say today

2005-07-12T12:06:00.000-04:00

Looks like a mudslide could create a landslide -- in the next Fort Ann supervisor's election. What was Gayle Hall thinking by being so unresponsive in the wake of this disaster? Yeah, the town probably has some liability with this Hadlock Pond dam washout. But you know, when the chips are down, you serve your constituents first and let the guys in the pinstripe suits worry about what happens later. And really, if you've got volunteer firefighters offering to help with a massive mudslide, why the hell wouldn't the town's leader let them?

Nice to see the ethics charge against that Queensbury Planning Board member was dismissed. You wonder if the process would have been fairer had it been out in the open from the get-go. Hmmm. What a concept. Open government. Maybe those officials in Queensbury and Glens Falls meeting in secret over their watershed property could learn a lesson about what happens when elected officials keep secrets from the public. If the citizens don't have all the facts, they'll fill in the blanks with rumor and innuendo. And that's always going to be bad.

Not to be ungrateful, but after charging 60 bucks a ticket for inside seats and $45 for lawns, you'd think the Dave Matthews Band could offer the homeless more than the dregs from their picked-over buffet.

On the top of our Sports section today, we had a big story about the "World Series of Poker." It's a major victory for couch potatoes everywhere -- that sitting on your butt playing cards is now considered a "sport." Well, I have to go now. Have to get some rest before my big knitting match tonight.

Not thinking, secrets, and another thing ...

2005-07-01T18:11:00.000-04:00

What's gotten into our public officials? In Saratoga Springs, Tom Curley appoints a new deputy public safety commissioner who got arrested for DWI last year, then criticizes people who question him. Senator Joe Bruno taunts the American Indians by saying they make their decisions by sitting around campfires. Who even thinks that these days? These guys are making Peter McDevitt look like a statesman.

And what's with all these secret meetings lately? Saratoga Springs secretly dissolving and then re-creating its deputy public works commissioner position in secret. The Queensbury Ethics Committee only operating in public when they've got an accusation to make. Glens Falls and Queensbury officials not even telling some of their council members about their meeting on the watershed property. You'd think with the Fourth of July weekend reminding them about the Declaration of Independence, the politicians would think twice before going behind the backs of citizens to govern. Instead, we get more business as usual. It's kind of depressing.

One other thing. What's the big deal about these sparklers? We had them as kids, and most of us survived to adulthood with all 10 fingers intact. Parents are just so panicky these days. How are we going to teach kids to act responsibly when they're not allowed to try anything irresponsible once in a while?

Stranded people don't care about looks of 'Frankenpine'

2005-06-30T15:05:00.000-04:00

I know the Adirondacks are pristine and all that, and I'm all for preserving the views. But this whole issue over the "Frankenpines" has me disturbed.

True, disguising cell towers like trees seems kind of stupid. But the alternative is either not having the towers disguised, or not having cell towers at all.

Most people who drive to the Adirondacks aren't Grisly Adams. If I run out of gas or get caught in a snowstorm in the middle of the Adirondacks, I'm not going to start a fire with string, eat bark and berries, and wipe my butt with pine needles for a week on the off-chance someone might happen by before a bear or hyphothermia get me. I'm going to want to get on my cell phone and call for help.

I don't care if they disguise the cell tower to look like a 400-foot-tall Little Orphan Annie. If I'm lost and I'm more than 2 miles from a Stewart's, I want to whip out my cell and talk to a human being.

It takes a serious mistake to make a village

2005-06-29T10:32:00.000-04:00

First they want to annex themselves into another town. Now the Pilot Knob folks want to form a village?

Wouldn't it be easier just to move?

I mean, they might like their lives on the lake and stuff. But they're sure going to a whole lot of trouble for the slight chance they might save a few bucks on their taxes. Do they think their taxes are just going to dry up when they're annexed or a part of a village? Suddenly, they're going to become an island unto themselves and no one will bother to tax them anymore? It's silly.

It's an election year. And it takes a village to raise a fuss.

Go to the next town board meeting and raise hell with the people who are running for re-election.

Business owners, step up to the plate

2005-06-21T11:32:00.000-04:00

Lake George equals families equals money.

That's the bottom line.

If those business owners in Lake George don't want to hide their offensive T-shirts to help the village's image, then surrounding businesses should rise up and help them change their mind.

Lake George is more than a conglomeration of stores. It's a vision.

Yes, store owners have free-speech rights. But they also have a responsiblity to the community to promote that positive image that brings in tourists from year to year and generation to generation. These nasty T-shirts, prominently displayed, affect the entire village, and businesses shouldn't be allowed to snub their noses at that image.

All it takes is one upset visitor spreading the word to erode that family image the village wants to project. And there goes the money.

Giuliani cleaned up Time Square. Blais should be able to clean up Canada Street. But business operators are going to have to step up and help him.

From the "What Were You Thinking" department ...

2005-06-15T12:31:00.000-04:00

Top 10 excuses for crashing a boat into an island on Lake George.

10 -- It wasn't on my map. Oh wait, this is a map of the Hiland Park golf course.
9 -- This is what happens when I let grandma play "Master and Commander."
8 -- I was trying to avoid Georgie the Lake George sea monster.
7 -- The lighthouse light must have burned out.
6 -- I thought the boat was on "auto-pilot.
5 -- I was distracted by a cannon blast from Fort William Henry.
4 -- All my friends were worse off than I was, so I took the wheel.
3 -- Someone put their bikini top over the windshield, and I was looking for the owner.
2 -- I actually saw three blurry islands, so I tried to avoid the one in the middle.
1 -- Hey, what's this round thing on the dash with the needle in the middle pointing to the "N"?

Welcome

2005-06-13T11:04:00.000-04:00

I decided to branch out from the editorial page of The Post-Star because I needed some more time to opine.

There's just so much out here to talk about, and so little time and space.

So, just like in the newspaper, I'll be sharp, and maybe a little snarky.

Welcome to the Coyote's den!