Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Top 11 ways for the Civic Center to recoup the $225,000

The outgoing Glens Falls Common Council has decided to cut $225,000 from the city's subsidy of the Glens Falls Civic Center. The Civic Center will either have to cut expenses or generate more revenues to make up the difference. Here are a few ideas.

11 -- Have Civic Center walkers run on treadmills to generate electricity.
10 -- Collect portion of profits from sale of Barry Melrose Hair Gel.
9 -- Create indoor waterslide park.
8 -- Auction off Kay Saunders' seat from Heritage Hall.
7 -- "Chuck a Puck at Bob Regan" nights during January Frostbite games.
6 -- Get Irish tenor Danny O'Donnell to perform nightly.
5 -- Fire the entire Civic Center staff and have work done by city police dispatchers.
4 -- Convince New York Mets management that spending $10 million at the Civic Center will turn them into a contender.
3 -- Give Burger King the food franchise and get it off the five-way corner.
2 -- Pay Lee Ann Womack not to perform.
1 -- Zamboni rides

Danny, Dan and Depends

• Daniel O'Donnell is coming back to the Civic Center in May. Does anyone under 60 years old even know who the heck he is? I saw where the top-priced ticket is $91. Ninety-one bucks! But I hear that during the concert, O'Donnell will wander into those seats and greet the people. For $91, I'd expect him to wander over to my house and greet my sinkful of dishes.

• I hope Dan Stec's house is made of asbestos, or at least has a lot of sprinkers.

• So the Rolling Stones are playing halftime at the Super Bowl. No threat of a wardrobe malfunction there -- unless Keith Richards' Depends come untaped during the guitar solo in Jumpin' Jack Flash.

With Republicans like these, who needs Democrats?

The Republican Party can't seem to get out of its own way these days.

They've got the top Pataki basher, Tom Golisano, as one of their favorites for the governor's race next year. The other favorite is a guy who was the governor of another state.

Even John Sweeney is emboldened enough to take shots at the leadership over its nomination process. I don't know why. If he doesn't like who they endorse, he'll just shut down the counting of the ballots when his candidate gets ahead.

And poor Jeanine Pirro. A competent, home-grown New York Republican aspires to run for U.S. Senate, and the GOP is mad at her. Then again, if I was about to be led into slaughter against Hillary Clinton, I think I'd take Joe Bruno's advice and run for state attorney general. But given the current state of affairs in the party, they may not be able to get her elected dog catcher.

Let's hope Redskins luck doesn't rub off on Great Escape

So it looks like Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has successfully injected himself into Six Flags. Let's hope he makes a better go of the amusement parks than he's made of his football team, which at last count was winning less than half its games.

Snyder says he wants to create a more family-type atmosphere in the company's parks. And I hear he's already got a unique idea for Six Flags Great Escape -- He's going to transform it into a family park based on storybook characters. What do you think?

Where is the Center going to get a quarter-million dollars?

The outgoing Glens Falls Common Council is expecting the Civic Center to make up $225,000 by cutting expenses and bringing in new acts. Where were these guys for the past four years?
If the Civic Center had the ability to bring in a quarter of million bucks extra per year, it wouldn't be in this mess. Seems like Bud is exacting a little post-election revenge against Mayor-elect Roy for boasting about his ability to turn the place around.
It's easy for an outgoing government board to make cuts when they're not going to be responsible for paying for them. Don't be surprised if the next council is scrambling to find $225,000 when they start settling the books next year.

Wrong time for Fort Ann to be withholding information

I wish the town of Fort Ann would have put as much effort into preparing the construction documents for the Hadlock Pond dam as they're putting into keeping them away from the public. When is this board going to start getting it?

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Where the wild things are

Hey Folks. It's been a while. Any tigers get loose while I was gone?

* I like the new Frostbite mascot. It's a vast improvement over "Knuckles the Big Bad Wolf." Way cuddlier, too. But it still doesn't look anything like a polar bear.

* Thank goodness the election's finally over. I was beginning to think they were going to take this thing all the way to the Supreme Court. One sham election is enough for one lifetime.

* The guy who does my taxes is an election inspector in Moreau. Should I be worried?

* Hey, how many times in your memory have you heard the phrase "Democratic Sweep" used for anything around these parts other than describing who has to clean up after board meetings? If Jerry Solomon were still alive, someone in the party leadership would be getting a good horse-whippin' about now.

* Bet Bud Taylor wants to ring Peter McDevitt's neck right about now. I understand he's taken the matter under advisement (couldn't resist one more). Those 880 Conservative votes that McDevitt got certainly would have been helpful to a Republican candidate in a tight race. But hey, that's democracy.

* Glens Falls mayor-elect Roy Akins says he plans to release his plans for revitalizing the city any day now. Kind of a mid-November surprise. Would have been nice if the voters got a chance to see it BEFORE the election.

* Crandall library Director Christine McDonald was so excited by the reversal of the vote on the library expansion that she almost broke into a smile.

* Looks like Saratoga Springs' Democratic mayor-elect Valerie Keehn was smart not to debate Mike Lenz after all. But she won't be able to hide from the public when she's sitting in his chair in six weeks. Let's hope she's prepared with some actual answers.

* Speaking of the Democratic sweep, the people trying to keep Saratoga Springs from using Saratoga Lake as a water source are getting worried. I saw a bunch of them out there the other day dumping PCBs in the lake.

* I hear in Dresden, they're eliminating voting booths all together and just going to absentees. No one apparently lives in that town full-time anyway. They're also changing the town's ZIP code to 11551 -- Hempstead, Long Island.

* Turns out the Greenwich bank robbers weren't part of some elite European paramilitary group after all -- just three local mutts with spare time on their hands. Here's some advice for you bank robber wannabes: If you want people to think you're just some regular-Joe handyman, don't park the BMW and the Mercedes in the driveway.

* I've got some swampland to sell you in Queensbury. Actually, it might be worth something.

* So how 'bout them Jets? I hear they sent a scout to a Greenjackets game looking for a quarterback.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The two faces of Gov. Pataki

What a coincidence. Iowa must have a governor named George Pataki, too. How else could you explain this daily schedule from last week released by Gov. George Pataki's office?

* 3:45 p.m. -- Attends American Red Cross of the Quad Cities
meeting to thank chapter for their efforts after 9/11;
1100 River Drive, Moline, Iowa.

* 5:15 p.m. -- Attends fundraiser for Brian Dumas, candidate for
Davenport Alderman; Thunder Bay Grille, 6511 North Brady
Street, Davenport, Iowa.

* 8:15 p.m. -- Presents the Keynote Address at the Clinton County
GOP Steak Dinner; The Vista Grande, 2141 16th Street, NW,
Clinton, Iowa.

Aren't there a lot of Red Cross chapters closer to New York City that should be recognized for helping out with 9/11? Think there are any struggling Republican candidates around here who could use a boost from the state's governor 10 days before Election Day? Don't we have a Clinton County in New York?
The governor may have announced he won't seek re-election, but he's still NEW YORK's governor for another year, right? You wouldn't know it from his daily schedule, though. He must be up to something else. What could it be?? Hmmm.
Hint: On Tuesday, he was in California.

Mothers of inventions -- coincidence?

Roy Akins invented the Million Dollar Half Mile about the same time Al Gore invented the Internet. And they're both Democrats. Coincidence?