Monday, September 19, 2005

The Top 11 rejected balloon shapes

Over the years, the Adirondack Balloon Festival has been host to many "specialty" balloons that come in unusual shapes. In the past, we've seen kissing bumble bees, the Energizer bunny, a farmhouse, an octopus, a rolled-up newspaper and a dragon.
But while the specialty balloons provide a unique complement to the traditional-shaped balloons, not all the proposed balloons arrive. Here is my list of the Top 11 Adirondack Balloon Festival rejected specialty balloons along with the reasons, in parenthesis, why they were rejected.

11 -- General Electric PCB Dredging Balloon (Everyone in region would benefit except Fort Edward, which would be totally screwed.)
10 -- International Paper "Tires on Fire" balloon (Vermont residents likely to file lawsuit.)
9 -- Saratoga Springs Right to Life balloon (Children might see it.)
8 -- Molly McMaster "Colossal Colon" balloon (Could encourage entry of other body-part balloons, such as "Colossal Hemorrhoid" balloon.)
7 -- "Bud Taylor-Peter McDevitt Friendship" balloon (Might trigger spontaneous joint debate over dispatch consolidation.)
6 -- Boston Scientific "Yankees Suck" balloon (Would encourage Dave "Dango" Johnson to open chain of local Red Sox bars.)
5 -- Village of Lake George "Canada Street" balloon (Too bright, loud and tacky.)
4 -- "Great Escape John Collins" balloon (Balloon dismissed for no apparent reason.)
3 -- "Hillary Clinton Women's Only Weekend" balloon (It would never get off the ground.)
2 -- FEMA balloon (It wouldn't arrive at the festival until two days after it was needed.)
1 -- Walt Grishkot balloon (It would never land.)