Friday, September 30, 2005

Other places to look for marijuana

Washington County sheriff's officers have seen a significant drop in the amount of marijuana plants they seize each year. Part of the problem is that police don't have the staff and equipment to make significant raids. The other part is that pot growers over the years have wised up and come up with creative new places to grow their weed without getting caught. Don Coyote knows of a few of the more discreet, infrequently visited places where cops might find some MJ.

12 — New York Jets quarterback meetings
11 — Voting booths at Skidmore College
10 — Downtown Wilton
9 — The keep-lock cells at Great Meadow prison
8 — The Kingsbury soccer park
7 — The Hadlock Pond shoreline
6 — The Glens Falls police station after the dispatchers are gone
5 — Gas stations just on the New York side of the New York-Vermont border
4 — Glens Falls Civic Center during Black Crowes and Lee Ann Womack concerts
3 — Washington County Board of Supervisors night meetings
2 — Inside downtown Fort Edward businesses after the dredging starts
1 — Warrensburg school board meetings where they're discussing the teachers' contract

Monday, September 19, 2005

The Top 11 rejected balloon shapes

Over the years, the Adirondack Balloon Festival has been host to many "specialty" balloons that come in unusual shapes. In the past, we've seen kissing bumble bees, the Energizer bunny, a farmhouse, an octopus, a rolled-up newspaper and a dragon.
But while the specialty balloons provide a unique complement to the traditional-shaped balloons, not all the proposed balloons arrive. Here is my list of the Top 11 Adirondack Balloon Festival rejected specialty balloons along with the reasons, in parenthesis, why they were rejected.

11 -- General Electric PCB Dredging Balloon (Everyone in region would benefit except Fort Edward, which would be totally screwed.)
10 -- International Paper "Tires on Fire" balloon (Vermont residents likely to file lawsuit.)
9 -- Saratoga Springs Right to Life balloon (Children might see it.)
8 -- Molly McMaster "Colossal Colon" balloon (Could encourage entry of other body-part balloons, such as "Colossal Hemorrhoid" balloon.)
7 -- "Bud Taylor-Peter McDevitt Friendship" balloon (Might trigger spontaneous joint debate over dispatch consolidation.)
6 -- Boston Scientific "Yankees Suck" balloon (Would encourage Dave "Dango" Johnson to open chain of local Red Sox bars.)
5 -- Village of Lake George "Canada Street" balloon (Too bright, loud and tacky.)
4 -- "Great Escape John Collins" balloon (Balloon dismissed for no apparent reason.)
3 -- "Hillary Clinton Women's Only Weekend" balloon (It would never get off the ground.)
2 -- FEMA balloon (It wouldn't arrive at the festival until two days after it was needed.)
1 -- Walt Grishkot balloon (It would never land.)

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Voting irregularities and elephant poop

So they recorded 10 votes in a Conservative Primary polling location in Glens Falls where only four people were registered. Upon hearing the news, Congressman John Sweeney immediately broke off a live interview with CNN, swooped into Warren County Airport on Air Force 1, and demanded the Board of Elections stop the counting.

See the story about that guy who makes sculptures out of elephant dung? It was in Thursday's Post-Star. O-Kaaaaay. Whyyyyyyy???

Bud Taylor won the Republican nomination for mayor and immediately called for the creation of a task force to determine his next move.

I read where the Westchester County executive issued subpoenas to 14 gas stations in his county that raised their prices more than $1 overnight right right after Hurricane Katrina hit. He wants to know their justification for bumping them up so fast and so high. Come to think of it, we'd like to know the same thing about our local gas stations. How 'bout it supervisors?

Backing the wrong teams

After the first week of the NFL season, the Bills, Dolphins, Saints, 49ers and Bengals are all undefeated. Looks like a good time to buy a lottery ticket. Especially since the Mega Millions jackpot for Friday is $250 million!

Is there anything more annoying than people who defend convicted sex offenders? In Fort Edward last year, church folks held a home party and a golf tournament for a beloved priest who was removed the ministry because of a sexual relationship he had with a teenage boy. The bishop himself confirmed the story. The priest, of course, told people another story and they believed him. How gullible can people be?
And now, apparently starved for quality musical entertainment, the good people of southern Washington County have opened their arms to a guy whose teaching license was just removed by the state because he had long sexual relationships with a couple of area high school juniors. Sure, these people are very charming and disarming. How exactly do you think they dupe their victims in the first place? Just because someone is a nice guy and has a particular talent doesn't mean you turn your back on the facts and let your guard down. Being a forgiving, loving Christian doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your brains and common sense. C'mon people!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Top 12 campaign slogans in the Glens Falls mayor's race.

12) Vote for me. I filed my financial disclosure forms on time.

11) Vote for me. I'll lower taxes, although I won't tell you how.

10) Vote for me. I'm insane, but I'll wear a suit.

9) Vote for me. Urban renewal got a bad rap.

8) Vote for me. Get a free Whopper and fries.

7) Vote for me. My Web site doesn't suck.

6) Vote for me. I know Barry Melrose.

5) Vote for me or the Frostbite mascot gets it.

4) Vote for me. I showed up for all the debates (whether I was invited or not).

3) Vote for me. I'll shrink government by making every city worker a police dispatcher.

2) Vote for me. I can't screw it up any more than these guys have.

1) Vote for me. My name is Frank O'Keefe.

Horses, buggies and other stupid ideas

Looking at the price of gas, I have a feeling the horse and buggy is going to be making a comeback. It might even get me better reception on my satellite radio.

That wouldn't change the feeling of driving around Glens Falls, though ...

Speaking of horses, if the horse racing museum wants to make its new horse-racing simulator more than just a glorified department store ride, it should have it throw riders to the ground have have them get kicked in the head by another horse. Now THAT would be realistic.
And who came up with this stupid idea anyway? People enjoy horse racing because they can bet on the horses, not because they want to ride them.

Monday, September 12, 2005

On the Glens Falls GOP race, and FEMA

If Bud Taylor and Peter McDevitt were any more nasty to each other, you'd think they were an old married couple. Our columnist, Will Doolittle, almost walked out of a debate between the two men the other night in disgust, and it wasn't because they were both Republicans. The nastiness we see in national and state campaigns is a campaign strategy for winning the election, not improving the community. Bloody the other guy so people will think he's a stinker and won't vote for him. But here at the local level, we're just looking for candidates who are going to make our community better. We don't need tricks and distractions.We just need a civilized election in which candidates win by presenting the best ideas for bettering the community, not the best insults.

I see Mike Brown has resigned as FEMA director. I think the people of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama would have been better off if he quit before the hurricane.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

My suggestions for the Henry Hudson Town Houses

The owners of the Henry Hudson Town Houses have offered to sell the low-income housing development to the city of Glens Falls. The city has balked at the offer, fearing the level of bureaucracy that would be involved in running the townhouses. Don Coyote, though, thinks the city could make a go of it if they think of more creative uses for the complex.

Top 11 city uses for the Henry Hudson Town Houses

11 -- Housing for "marginal human beings" looking for temporary work under the Peter McDevitt administration.

10 -- Flood in winter and use as city ice rink and warming huts under the Bud Taylor administration.

9 -- Fire training center under the Bill Berg administration.

8 -- Large, semi-fictional 3-D mural under the Esmond Lyons administration.

7 -- Promote as Glens Falls heritage tourism destination -- Miserably Failed Low-income Housing Solutions of the 1970s -- under the Roy Akins administration.

6 -- Move current residents to Madden Hotel and offer homes to displaced New Orleans residents.

5 -- New city dog walk park.

4 -- City police station annex under consolidated dispatch, since cops spend most of their time there anyway.

3 -- Parking area for Boscov's.

2 -- Tell people it's Cooper's Cave. The real one is too difficult to get to now, and no one reads "Last of the Mohicans" anymore anyway.

1 -- Turn it into the village of East Glens Falls and allow the residents to run it themselves.