Friday, August 26, 2005

A top 11 for Fort Edward

The Environmental Protection Agency has issued plans for the first phase of dredging the Hudson, plans that Fort Edward officials fear will negatively affect their economic future. But Don Coyote thinks the EPA and Fort Edward politicians overlooked some obvious ways to make PCB removal help the economy.

11 -- Add lights and music to promote dredging barges as 24-hour-a-day party boats.

10 -- Invite cast of the New Gilligan's Island to film a segment on Rogers Island.

9 -- Recreate Battle of Saratoga on piles of sludge.

8 -- Market "Fort Edward PCB Clam Dredging Toy" in time for Christmas.

7 -- Invite people to de-water their own soil.

6 -- GE's new slogan: "We bring bad things to the surface."

5 -- Sell PCB-BLTs in local sandwich shops.

4 -- Say bones dredged from river belong to Jane McCrea.

3 -- Three-headed-cow petting zoo at Pulver Farm.

2 -- Change name on signs from "Fort Edward" to "Fort Not Polluted"

1 -- Holiday Sludge Train.